Agency NitroPress: The Humor Page!

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The Humor Page

Hey, if we can't laugh at ourselves, who can we laugh at?

(Just a thought... why does so much of this seem to apply to Dyson vacuum cleaners?)

You’ve almost rear-ended the car in front of you because you were analyzing a font on a billboard.
You’d rather study the pattern on your boyfriend/girlfriend’s shirt than listen to what he/she has to say.
You’ve learned your lesson and stopped using the word “final” in any file name when saving.
You clean your keyboard more often than you wash your car.
You’ve given up trying to explain your projects to non-designers.
You’ve actually paid for a font.
Just the phrase “PC vs. Mac” can make you leave work for the day with a migraine.
You outline the empty areas on comps and label them “white space” for the client's benefit.
You get very good at statements beginning, “Yes, we could fit that in, but...”
You describe colors by Pantone number.
You can’t go to a restaurant without secretly critiquing the menu design.
You can tell what software was used to compose a page.
You think it's funny that Adobe means molded out of mud.
You have an amazingly large font collection, and an amazingly short temper.
If you had a penny for every mouse click, you would have been a billionaire 10 years ago.
You remember that this was all once done without computers.
...You wish you were doing it without computers.

Blank Reg: Here, take this.
Girl: What's that?
Reg: It's a book!
Girl: What's that?
Reg: Okay... it's a nonvolatile random-access memory storage unit. Very rare. Everyone should have one.
Girl: For what?
(Probably the same girl who doesn't understand why Humphrey Bogart didn't just call for help on his cel phone.)

On an hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
On a bag of potato chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap.
On a frozen dinner: Serving suggestion: Defrost.
On a hotel-provided shower cap: Fits one head.
Printed on the bottom of a packaged dessert: Do not turn upside down.
On the same dessert: Product may be hot after heating.
On packaging for an iron: Do not iron clothes on body.
On a bottle of children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate heavy machinery.
On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: May cause drowsiness.
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only.
On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use.
On a package of peanuts: Warning: contains nuts.
On another package of peanuts: Remove shells before consuming nutmeats.
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
On a chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
On a cheap hammer: Do not use to strike hard objects.

On a construction truck: QUALITY FREE ESTIMATES
On the sign of The Brake Shoppe, Arden Way, ca. 1980: INTEGRITY IS OUR SERVICE
Bumper sticker ca. 1990: WELCOME TO CALIFORNIA. WHEN YOU LEAVE, TAKE JESUS WITH YOU.
Business name, with 3-letter logo: AIR SYSTEMS of SACRAMENTO
Another business name: ASSURED SHREDDING SYSTEMS
Big O Tires sign, at night, with unfortunate wiring problems: BigOT